When U Need a Min Funny Quote and That One Employee
Sales was always a tough job. In turbulent times, it can be even worse. But funny, uplifting insight about sales can help ease the strain.
These quotes, anecdotes and one-liners will remind you why you got into sales and restart your selling spirit.
Read. Share. Smile.
1
I never lose. I either win or learn
~ Nelson Mandela
2
Sales Manager to under-performing team: 'We're going to have a sales contest this month. The winners will get to enter next month's contest'
3
Large crystal ball for sale. $50, but you will haggle me down to $35
~ Craigslist
4
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake
~ Napoleon Bonaparte
5
Two shoe salesmen go to a remote island to break into new markets. After a few days, one salesperson calls the office and says, 'I'm on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everyone goes barefoot.' The other salesperson sends an email to the boss minutes later: 'Get ready! The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!'
6
Success looks a lot like failure up until the moment you break through the finish line
~ Dan Waldschmidt
7
You might be a salesman if when you give your son a birthday present, you remind him that it has 'unprecedented performance'
8
I love the winning, I can take the losing, but most of all I love to play
~ Boris Becker
9
There was one-third off all book titles at the local book store, so I bought a copy of The Lion, The Witch
10
My sales objective is to get my prospects to look at my products the same way I look at bacon
~ Kurt Mortensen
11
A state trooper stopped a sales rep for going 15 miles over the speed limit while rushing to a sales call. After he handed her a ticket, she asked him, 'Don't you give out warnings?' 'Yes, ma'am,' he replied. 'They're all up and down the road. They say, Speed Limit 55'
12
When you're good at something, you'll tell everyone. When you're great at something, they'll tell you
~ Walter Payton
13
You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new
~ Steve Jobs
14
Salesperson: 'This computer will cut your workload by 50%.' Office manager: 'That's great! I'll take two of them'
15
For sale: Broken quiz machine, $10. No questions asked
~ eBay
16
People don't like to be sold, but they love to buy
~ Jeffrey Gitomer
17
Customers are like teeth. Ignore them and they'll go away
~ Jerry Flanagan
18
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
~ Steven Wright
19
My favorite sales book? The Bible. I would improve it. You know how we people are
~ Kare Anderseon
20
I design, manufacture, distribute, and sell elevator buttons. I specialize in the fourth floor. And I don't mean to brag, but I'm such a good salesman that I could sell one of my fourth-floor elevator buttons to the owner of a three-story building. I'm also into Jazz. I make elevator music in my free time. My motto in life: You can't push my buttons if you don't buy them.
~ Jarod Kintz
21
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize
I should have been more specific
~ Lily Tomlin
22
For sale, Incredible Hulk t-shirt. Usual wear and tear
~ eBay
23
Business opportunities are like buses; there's always another one coming
~ Richard Branson
24
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye
~ Cathy Guisewite
25
You might be a salesman if you insist you do more market research before you and your spouse have another child
26
Hustle until your haters ask if you're hiring
~ Steve Maraboli
27
On any given Monday I am one sale closer and
one idea away from being a millionaire
~ Larry D. Turner
28
One of the greatest victories you can gain
over someone is to beat him at politeness
~ Josh Billings
29
There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
~ Kin Hubbard
30
Do billboard salesmen record their sales on charts? If so, who's at the top of the billboard charts for billboard sales?
~ Ryan Lilly
31
Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.
~ Steven Tyler
32
Winning isn't getting ahead of others. It's getting ahead of yourself
~ Roger Staubach
Source: https://www.resourcefulselling.com/funny-sales-quotes/
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